bluestalking: (Loki)
Listen, guys, this book has thirteen chapters and I can't stop now. We are in the HOME STRETCH. Well, we are in the NEIGHBOR'S YARD looking over at the HOME STRETCH. Just bear with me. We can do this. We can finish this book about Disney villain hologram catfights.

CHAPTER NINE:

p.286 Pearson keeps using the term "OT holograms" to refer to the bad guys (OVERTAKERS!) but I was raised a good Christian girl (...well, I was raised a good Christian girl. It didn't take.) and OT only means OLD TESTAMENT to me. I shouldn't have introduced images to this project.

Photobucket
thank you wikimedia commons

Hey, making visual mention of Mickey Mouse, why isn't he around? This is a real comedown from KINGDOM HEARTS.

p.290 Hamfisted dead pop culture reference time! "Despite them all wearing sunglasses--at night--they had to protect themselves..."

p.290 Willa is overcome with love for the exotic entertainments of the Morocco booth. Disney's corporate representation of this foreign country is so strange and beautiful and strange that she must discuss it "in a hush."

SHE GOT HENNA THERE, YOU GUYS. IT WAS TRULY MOVING.

p.290 is my favorite page. Maybeck is afraid of guys in robes.

p.291 "girls, not so much"

p.293 A BEAUTIFUL CONFLAGRATION OF AWKWARDLY OFFENSIVE THINGS, OH WOW:

Maybeck says: "Why does the black kid have to be the thief?" MAYBECK IS BLACK! I don't think it's my fault I didn't know, considering Amanda's foreign and beautiful pan-oriental features got a fucking paragraph.

Willa says: "That's awful. That's not it at all, and you know it." WILLA ISN'T RACIST, GUYS. "First of all, you're just Maybeck to me, 'kay?" NOT. RACIST. AT. ALL. "Second, you're not a thief, but you are a boy." Wait what? "You're better at this stuff." Okay, so she is a gender essentialist. Hurrah sexism?

Luckily Maybeck tells her to fuck off, and Miss Low-Grade Bigotry has to do the thieving herself.

p.299 Willa steals the spindle and gets all terrified that she's going to be caught, and then an old man who isn't an old man shows up and says, "I...want...your...magic." Will is distressed because as far as she knew she doesn't even have magic. Then Pearson educates us on simile:

"It was like someone trying to rob you of something you didn't know you possessed."

Thanks, no, but, I am pretty sure it is exactly like that, because that is what is happening.

p.301 "For him, Jafar was one of the worst Disney villains out there. He killed people, or tried to; he placed no value on human life." Assuming that talking animals are also people--um. Maleficent, the Evil Queen, Scar, every Hun, Prince John and the Sheriff of Nottingham, Cruella De Vil, Gaston, that fluffy strawberry bear in Toy Story 3...

I am not sure which Disney movies Maybeck has been watching where the villain isn't a murderous sexy fabulous fiend.

p.303 I disagree with this assessment of Jafar's hands as 'ugly.' I disagree violently. Those are the hands of a tall, thin man of calculating power and delicate tastes. UNF. HANDS.

p.307 Perplexingly, Shan Yu, Hun of Mulan, shows up and speaks mostly good English, with a heavy accent. Guys. GUYS. He is not a historical figure. HE IS THE EMBODIMENT OF AN AMERICAN MOVIE CHARACTER. HE CAN SPEAK ENGLISH. By the way, he has that 'thin wispy mustache,' but he's got 'an otherwise brutal face.'

p.307 Shan Yu asks rhetorically what every man wants. Finn thinks the answer is an X-Box.

p.313 Mulan shows up and notes that "The river, it is long."

That is chapter nine for you.

CHAPTER TEN:

p.317 Maybeck experiences "a rare moment of genuine concern." I...had not realized this was rare. I suspect Pearson is not great at characterization.

p.321 Finn basically tells his mom they stole some stuff from Epcot and then is startled when she actually seems to notice what he is saying. "She was way too smart. He couldn't give her this kind of data to work with." Possibly he should lay off the hologram machines.

p.322 Occasional past-book summaries don't give me a strong inclination to read them: "He and Finn had once been attacked on Tom Sawyer Island by Stitch and had been made to swim among alligators."

made to swim among alligators

p.327 AHAHA I WAS RIGHT. Mickey is missing. Mickey is super great and important and he is missing. #KINGDOMHEARTS

p.332 DUN DUN DUN THE VILLAINS WISH TO SEIZE CONTROL OF THE DISNEY-POWERING ELECTRICAL PLANT this is a plot point
this is in jess's picture of kissing
"It had to be hugely significant."

p.333 "The e-mail from Jess caused him to perspire."

p.338 Pearson clarifies THE KIND for us again. "Pluto had lived long enough to be the age of an Egyptian mummy in dog years. In that time he'd learned a few tricks. Not the kind of tricks like roll over or shake hands, but the kind of tricks to play on other animals pursuing you."

Sometimes when I type these sentences I think, Holy Hell, what words were you trying to say when these came out?

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January 2012

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